


A True Samurai Doesn't Have to Explain Themself to Anyone

by Official_Biscuit_Moron



Category: Gintama
Genre: Gen, gintoki is mentioned, love you zura, their friendship is very wholesome, zura being annoying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:13:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25173679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Official_Biscuit_Moron/pseuds/Official_Biscuit_Moron
Summary: “Your mind is thrillingly sharp, as always, Leader,” Katsura said proudly. “You could show Gintoki a thing or two, you know - I worry about how slow he is. He’s really rather dimwitted, sometimes. I'm sure you already know this, Leader, but it's imperative that any samurai worth their salt has at least a little bit of sense-”“So,” Kagura said, “Not you, then.”/ / /Aka Zura joins Kagura while she's out walking Sadaharu, and they have a fulfilling and thoughtful conversation!
Relationships: Kagura & Katsura Kotarou, Kagura & Sadaharu, Katsura Kotarou & Sadaharu
Comments: 13
Kudos: 38





	A True Samurai Doesn't Have to Explain Themself to Anyone

“Hello, Leader. Hello, Sadaharu-dono.”

“Hey, Zura.”

Katsura fell into step beside her. “It’s not Zura, it’s Katsura.”

“What’s up, Zura?” Kagura asked, mouth full of sukonbu. “Where’s Eli? Did she finally tire of your company and leave you for another man?”

“It’s not Zura, it’s Katsura. And no, Elizabeth is staying peacefully at home, resting. She caught a cold the other day,” Katsura explained seriously, “and maybe something else, too. You see, when I gave her a bowl of hot soup this morning, a very old and veiny hand reached out of her mouth to grab it. It was stressful, for both me and Elizabeth, though naturally I had my wits about me and didn't scream at all. I know it startled Elizabeth, though; I detected an unusual scent from her - it smelled oddly like an old man's feverish sweat - that I believe was her fearful response to the arm coming out of her mouth. I think she may have contracted some sort of virus. If you want to know the truth-”

“I don’t, nope,” Kagura said.

“-I’m really rather worried about her. This is the second time something strange has happened like this. You remember the Kintaro arc? When Elizabeth swallowed an old man?”

“That was just an old man, yes? Eli’s just an old man, yes?”

“Well,” he continued, “I think it might’ve happened again. Or, like I said in my previous theory, she’s come down with an Amanto virus.”

“Arf!”

“I think so too, Sadaharu-dono. May I fluff your stomach?”

Sadaharu had no particular desire for Katsura to fluff his stomach, but that didn’t stop Katsura from fluffing it anyway. He had to jog for a moment to catch up with Kagura again, looking slightly disheveled and unable to wipe the dopey smile off his face.

“Oh, it’s you again, uh-huh,” she observed.

“It’s not me again, it’s Katsura,” Katsura said, finally wrestling his face back into its trademark somber expression. “I think the virus is some sort of Amanto virus. I also think she may have received it from an Amanto, and I also think that it came from an Amanto.”

“So,” Kagura clarified, “It’s an Amanto virus, yes, that came from an Amanto and that Eli got from an Amanto, and probably was brought here by an Amanto and spread by an Amanto, who got it from an Amanto who was a victim of the Amanto spread and also got it from an Amanto?”

“Your mind is thrillingly sharp, as always, Leader,” Katsura said proudly. “You could show Gintoki a thing or two, you know - I worry about how slow he is. He’s really rather dimwitted, sometimes. I'm sure you already know this, Leader, but it's imperative that any samurai worth their salt has at least a _little_ bit of sense-”

“So,” Kagura said, “Not you, then.”

“-because they _have_ to have sense to survive on the battlefield. ‘Zura, what battlefield?’ you may ask- and it’s not Zura, it’s Katsura. Well, Leader, that would be the battlefield of life. And of the war against the corrupt, rotten Bakufu – which is certainly a noble battlefield. Speaking of that, I must get Gintoki one of our new pamphlets, they’re really quite something, I designed them myself. Remind me of that later, Leader, if you wouldn’t mind. Though a true samurai _never_ forgets. It’s a sign of poor intellect, if one forgets what one’s talking about or doing. Gintoki’s always forgetting things – whenever I give him one of the new posters Elizabeth and I worked so hard on, encouraging everyone to support our cause, he always forgets to put it up! He’s just senseless! A true samurai _has_ to have sense- did I mention that?”

Kagura pulled out a second box of sukonbu and started munching her way through it. Sadaharu had finally rejoined them both, though he was giving Katsura the stink-eye and walking on the other side of the street from the two of them. Katsura took this as a ‘no,’ and eagerly elaborated.

“Well, Leader, a samurai must have sense to survive on the battlefield. ‘Zura, what battlefield?’ you may ask, and I’d tell you that it’s _not_ Zura, it’s _Katsura!!_ Ahem. Leader, the battlefield I speak of is none other than the battlefield of life. And of the war against the corrupt, rotten Bakufu – which is certainly a noble battlefield. Speaking of that-”

Sadaharu placed his paws over his ears, making a pitiful, quiet keening noise. Kagura swallowed the nine pieces of pickled seaweed she had just put in her mouth easily, without chewing them, and kicked Katsura in the shin.

“Stop it, Zura. You’re making Sadaharu lose his mind, yes?”

Hopping on one foot and letting out a strained, “It’s not Zura, it’s Katsura!”, Katsura turned to face the huge white dog and bowed solemnly, somehow managing to do it without falling over. “My sincerest apologies, Sadaharu-dono. I wasn’t aware I was affecting you in such a way. I am truly sorry. May I fluff your stomach to make it up to you?”

Sadaharu quickly and efficiently closed his jaws around Zura’s – oops. Sorry, _Katsura’s_ – head, silencing him; possibly for good.

**Author's Note:**

> zura's big brain is simply far too advanced for any mere mortal to understand. and it's not zura, it's katsura!
> 
> (helllooo! petition to sign to support blm: http://chng.it/TSSqbJWMpH)


End file.
